A Note from Julian

Yo, what up? This is Julian. I work at The Village Market sometimes on Silver Lake and Atwater. My man, B, comes by every once and a while, buys a Mountain Dew. Honestly, I think that shit's disgusting, but, you know, I ain't here to judge. Anyway, hombre's been writing and complaining to me about his damn blog, and to be honest, I'm just sick of people fucking complaining all the fucking time, so I said I'd write something.

I got a couple things I want to mention. For one, the ATM in the market doesn't work. Why? Because the company went out of business. They went bankrupt. Yeah, a company whose job it is to give other people money apparently ran out of money to give. And every day, people look at the sign on the machine -- "Company Went Bankrupt" -- laugh and shake their heads. It's the same fucking reaction every time. I see probably 50 people a day, and it's the same reaction, and I'm thinking, "Doesn't anybody have a fucking heart?" The company went bankrupt! People lost their jobs. This wasn't some Wall Street company, these guys just made ATMs. And everyone laughs when they see the sign. I live in a town full of heartless ass holes.

It is kind of funny. The irony of it. I just wish someone, anyone, would see the sign and say, "Aw. That's too bad."

Speaking of ass holes, my little sister came into the store with some fucking chingada hipster mother fucker with skin tight jeans, a gold piece around his neck, and the stupidest fucking haircut you've ever seen in your life. She's giggling all over the place like she's gone insane, and the dude looks like he's tripping on some shit my cousin' V sold him. Then, get this, they sneak back to where the sodas are and start making out. How do I know this? 'Cause the fuckin' store's got fuckin' mirrors all over the place, so I'm stuck there behind the counter watching this fuckin' cabrón cop a feel on my sister.
(A few words about my sister. She's a slut. I'm pretty sure she was giving hand jobs in the bathroom in fourth grade. If that wasn't enough, she comes into the market and steals condoms. I see her steal them because she's the worst shoplifter in the world, but I let her because nobody as stupid as her or as young as her - she's 16 this February - should ever ever EVER reproduce. So steal away you fuckin' slut.)

And fuck this tight jeans, gold chain wearing, high as a fucking balloon at the Macy's parade, puta madre who's after the easiest lay in Los Angeles. Next time he comes in my store, I'm beating his pussy ass with a loaf of bread and a can a beans. (But I probably won't need the can of beans. Puta.)

And fuck bankrupt ATMs and the people who laugh at them. That schadenfreude'll come back to bite you in the ass.

Yeah, I know the word schadenfreude.

Peace,
Julian