Disappointment

The name of the game in the entertainment industry is disappointment. A lot of the time, there's absolutely nothing on the horizon, but occasionally some hint of a possibility of something great rears its head and your instinct is to jump up and down and tell everyone about this little possibility of something, which, given the dearth of any possibilities or options, actually looks like a huge, gigantic spectacular something and suddenly all your hopes and dreams are tied up in this thing that was actually only ever a tiny little maybe.

And when that tiny little maybe doesn't work out, because it was really very tiny in the first place and never really had much of a chance, you have to field all the follow up questions from friends and family asking how that thing worked out, or worse, proclaiming "You must be doing great, you know, with that thing." And morosely, you have to explain, "Yeah. That actually didn't work out, so..." And it fucking sucks.

Which is why I haven't told anybody what I'm about to write here, and the only reason I'm writing it is to build dramatic anticipation. You know, keep the reader coming back to find out what happened with that thing. Of the three people who read this blog, one of them will be upset to read it here first, but that's how it goes. I haven't wanted to tell anybody.

Here's the tiny little thing that most likely won't turn into anything: A friend of mine is a junior manager at a management company here in Los Angeles. He primarily represents actors, but in representing actors he develops relationships with directors, writers, producers, studios, etc. (Actually, I don't think there is an "etc." That about covers it.) Well, he's a big fan of a script I wrote and he's been very kind to send it out to a few directors and production companies. Apparently, one of the directors he sent it to really liked it. He liked it enough that he wants to have a meeting with me. From what I understand he has a deal with a production company that has a lot of money and does little family movies or something - I don't know. My script isn't exactly a family movie but it could be a little saccharine depending on the direction, so...

That's it. I haven't met with the guy yet. I don't have any clue what he wants from me or wants to discuss. Furthermore, and this is, I think, the saddest part - I don't feel like I'm in a position to decline any offers. I'm poor and, as the title of this blog implies, unsuccessful so if he offered anything, wouldn't I almost have to take it? Wouldn't I be geeked out of my gourd to take it? $2000? Yes please! $5000? OK! $10,000? Um, exqueeze me? Yes, I said "exqueeze" and that's exactly what I would say if I was offered $10,000 for anything. But I really like this story. I love this story. It's my favorite thing I've ever written, so what if I get the impression that this guy wants to taint it? Or what if the product is shit? How hard will it be for me to sell another script? And finally - I wanted to be the one to direct this. I wanted it to be my pet project. But lacking any kind of traction or progress in the writing field, I don't think I have that option.

I suppose I do. I guess what I mean is that I don't think I have the cojones to turn anyone down.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves. The name of the game is disappointment and there is about a 99% chance that absolutely nothing comes of this. I just thought I'd drop it on you to make this stupid little blog just a bit more interesting. Obviously, I'll keep the three of you in the loop.

Maybe I should tell more people I'm doing this.

Nah. It's gotta be a lot better before I do that.